Embracing Gods Model for Family
Bishop Henry Fernandez Preached on 6/17/2024Genesis 2:18
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38:26
Summary
Bishop Henry Fernandez challenges believers to reject worldly definitions of family and return to God's structural model, emphasizing the necessity of God-centered leadership and a prioritized marriage union.
Key points
- •God must be the foundation and center of the home to have a truly healthy and resilient family structure.
- •Biblical leadership in the home requires men to step into their roles as providers, protectors, and mentors, rather than staying stuck in past failures.
- •A wife is called to be a 'suitable helper' who supports and strengthens the family structure rather than competing for the position of headship.
- •The marriage union must remain the primary human priority; allowing children to come between a husband and wife creates emotional gaps that lead to fractured homes.
- •Families cannot truly disconnect physically or spiritually from one another, so the most effective path forward is repairing leadership and following God's model.
Scripture
Family
Leadership
Discipleship
Purpose
Life application
Evaluate your family dynamics this week to see if your children or career have physically or emotionally come between you and your spouse; take a specific action to prioritize your marriage union, such as a dedicated date night or a time of shared prayer.
Reflection questions
- In what ways have you allowed the world's model of family to influence your home more than the Word of God?
- For men: What is one area where you have 'dropped the ball' in leadership, and how can you seek mentorship to grow in that area?
- For women: How can you better function as a 'supporter' to your husband's leadership without feeling like you are losing your own value or voice?
- What 'traditions' in your family line need to stop in order for a new, God-centered legacy to begin?
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Full transcript
0:00I want to share with you this morning on
0:03the subject embracing God's model for
0:09family when we look at the
0:14structure of the families
0:17today one might ask where are The Godly
0:23families others may even ask should we
0:26continue to follow the world's model of
0:30what a family should
0:33be or should we seek to understand and
0:37embrace God's perspective of what a
0:41family should
0:43be should we look to the
0:47world and allow the world to tell us as
0:51Believers what a family should be or
0:55should we go to the word of God and say
0:58okay if we're going to want our families
1:00to be
1:01healthy if we're going to understand our
1:05role when it comes to the
1:08family we go to the
1:10word we go to the word and we allow the
1:13word of God to guide us in this area you
1:18see at the end of the day our desire
1:22should be to become a
1:25reflection of what the scriptures
1:27teaches concerning Godly family
1:30families so God should always and I
1:35emphasize God should always be the
1:39center of our
1:42families you should be the uh he should
1:44be I should say the foundation on which
1:47we build Family
1:51Values we can't build family values on
1:54the tradition of our family cuz there's
1:57some traditions we need to stop
2:02we just need to
2:03stop we have to go to the word of God to
2:07discover what the Bible says about
2:10family so many people have lost hope in
2:13having a god- centered family due to the
2:18emotional damage they have experienced
2:21both
2:23currently and in the
2:25past however it is important to note
2:29that while you you were born into a
2:32family and even with the toxicity that
2:36may dominate your family you cannot
2:39physically nor spiritually disconnect
2:42from your
2:44family you can only do so
2:48mentally so let's talk as a
2:51family we've all been through issues
2:54with our family that will want us to
2:57divorce them
3:02right there are some members of our
3:05family we would love to
3:08divorce but what I just said is that we
3:12cannot disconnect from our family even
3:16physically if we try you know you run
3:19away from them you go to a different
3:21place they're still your
3:23family they're still your family now I'm
3:26not saying you are to hang around family
3:28members who are toxic and so forth I'm
3:32trying to share with you this morning
3:34that you cannot disconnect from your
3:37family you can do it mentally yes you
3:40can program your mind to say I don't
3:42want to deal with that
3:44person however when God placed you in a
3:47family it's for a reason so I hope you
3:50will agree with me today that the most
3:53effective way to repair the Brokenness
3:56in family is to address watch this the
4:00lack of leadership in the
4:03home that's the problem sir we're
4:07lacking leadership in the
4:11home and ladies before you shout amen
4:15preach it
4:17rev yes these men are not being the men
4:21that they're supposed to be and the
4:23leaders they're supposed to be and if
4:25they lead will quickly follow before you
4:28say that not all sisters but some
4:31sisters just need to allow him to
4:37lead just allow him to
4:41lead
4:42unfortunately this is an issue that
4:46families of all Races and cultures are
4:50currently dealing with the lack of
4:53leadership in the
4:55home so for a moment let me erase from
5:00our minds the world's structure of a
5:04family and if you will please allow me
5:08to paint a picture of God's
5:12perspective of the family let me share
5:15with you God's structure of the family
5:20I'll put it on the screen it's God
5:23first it is the father the
5:27mother and the children
5:30well let me walk you through this number
5:32one God first God is first and foremost
5:39you cannot have a healthy family if
5:41God's not
5:43first
5:44[Applause]
5:46period that kind of response is kind of
5:49weak I got to say it again you cannot
5:52have a healthy
5:54family without God being first don't be
5:58going sleeping on me
6:00now so God must be first he is the
6:04foundation upon which a family should be
6:09built he is the foundation so what are
6:12you building your family on is God first
6:15let's talk about the Father the father
6:18he is according to God's model he is the
6:23husband provider protector and
6:28Mentor look at qualities men please pay
6:32attention
6:33here God's structure of a family is to
6:37put you as the
6:38headship the leader of your home you are
6:43the husband of your home or your wife
6:48you the
6:49provider protector and mentor and I get
6:54it with our society today they're trying
6:56to rewrite that and with the um feminine
7:00movement you know women I want to earn
7:03my own money and I want to just be my
7:06own boss and I'm not dependent on a man
7:09to help me there's not a woman in this
7:12room or streaming I don't care how much
7:15money you make that you wouldn't want a
7:18brother to help you make some more
7:21[Applause]
7:23money so regardless of what women are
7:26saying according to God you are a
7:31provider protector and a
7:35mentor a man as a father is also the
7:39leader and spiritual head of his house
7:44you're the leader got a
7:48lead and if you're failing at that it's
7:52not too late it's not too late for you
7:54to take on that responsibility find
7:58mentors in your life find other brothers
8:01who have exemplified the the qualities
8:04of a good leader and ask them questions
8:08grow with them so that they can teach
8:10you how to become that good man that
8:13good husband that good leader of your
8:16home read books and search for the
8:20information that will help you to become
8:23a good father stop hanging out in your
8:27failures okay you drop the ball you you
8:30messed up and and so forth what are you
8:32going to do from this point
8:34forward you can change your
8:37life you can turn around and you can
8:41make it up to your children you can make
8:43it up to your
8:44spouse because you are the leader and
8:48spiritual leader of your
8:51home and while I am challenging the
8:54brothers to do that let me challenge the
8:57sisters please
9:00help the men in your life to be
9:04leaders you cannot fight with
9:07them in their
9:11position struggling with your man not
9:14allowing him to become the leader that
9:18God uh requires of him is going to bring
9:21tension and struggle in the
9:24home and you may not like his leadership
9:27I get that but some times like your
9:30children you have to give your children
9:32Grace to evolve into maturity the same
9:37thing you need to do to your man you
9:39have to give him Grace you may know a
9:41lot more than him you may be wiser than
9:44him but your job is to stay and push him
9:48into his purpose but not to be in his
9:51position and trying to boss him around
9:54and trying to degrade him and trying to
9:57disrespect him he cannot develop as a
10:01good leader when he has a weak wife
10:04behind him
10:06fighting for the
10:08[Applause]
10:14position
10:16mother the mother is the wife the
10:19supporter the nurturer she provides
10:22emotional and spiritual support to the
10:25family we're going to deal with that in
10:27a minute the mother she's a supporter
10:30supporter supporter to Aid to assist not
10:35to
10:37destroy in fact Solomon said it best a
10:40woman can build a house but she has the
10:42power to tear it
10:44[Applause]
10:46down and we have to be careful that
10:49we're not building something that we're
10:50tearing
10:52down come on now so as a woman a mother
10:58a wife
10:59you are a supporter you're there to
11:02support to strengthen the structure of
11:04the family you are the one who are there
11:07to give spiritual support to your family
11:11and to children children are The
11:14Offspring and the legacy of the family
11:17The Offspring of the
11:20family kids have a tendency to practice
11:25publicly what they see privately yes
11:30they're The
11:31Offspring so when your children are
11:33walking around are you proud of them are
11:37you proud of their actions and their
11:40decisions and before you say well no I'm
11:43not proud of them and so forth I'm just
11:44sick and tired of how they living their
11:46lives can we go into your
11:50house and look over the years of
11:54training how did you train
11:56them because the Bible says train a a
11:59child the way they should go and grow so
12:04when they're old they won't depart from
12:06it so could it be that what you're
12:09seeing today the fruits of what you're
12:12seeing today is a results of the
12:15seeds you have sown in the past so as a
12:21CH as a child I should say in children
12:24children are an Offspring You're The
12:26Legacy to keep the family's name
12:29I have two boys and the older I get I'm
12:34very concerned about the Legacy very
12:37concerned about my legacy I only have
12:40two boys I I don't I don't have girls
12:43you know and when I saw these guys up
12:46here dancing with their little girls uh
12:49I don't know for a moment I wanted to
12:51lean over to Carol and say well should
12:53we uh anyway any let me just leave that
12:57alone let me just leave that
13:01alone but the point I was
13:05making was I'm concerned about my
13:08boys because I want to leave a
13:12legacy I want my boys to grow up to
13:18find the perfect woman and I'll show you
13:21to where the Bible wants every man to
13:24have the perfect woman not just every
13:27woman I'm going to prove it to you in a
13:28minute in it you've overlooked it for
13:32years so men you cannot just date and
13:35marry any kind of
13:41woman you'll mess your life
13:46up if all you want is a bedroom
13:53experience you need the right
13:56woman so for my boys I want the Legacy
14:00to continue I want them to find the
14:01right
14:03woman and I want them to continue this
14:05Legacy of their
14:07dad has nothing to do with
14:10church uh none of my boys like the stage
14:14none of
14:15them they hate the
14:18stage don't put me up
14:21there none of them want this church and
14:24I would never force it on them why I
14:27never wanted it
14:29and I'll never force on my
14:31children something they don't
14:34want however I leave the room I always
14:36tell them this I'll leave the room
14:38open you can run from God but you
14:44can't when he calls you into something
14:46you can hide all you want he'll catch up
14:49with you
14:50later but our job is to leave a legacy
14:53for our children so that will continue
14:56forever so several scriptures back up up
14:59the structure this structure that I'm
15:01talking about affirming its divine
15:04origin and purpose so our society is
15:08doing everything to rearrange the
15:10structure of the family and we must do
15:14everything to resist such an
15:19alteration you see when men keep God at
15:23the center of their lives it keeps the
15:26structure of a Godly family from being
15:30fractured when we put God as a center of
15:33our Lives it literally keeps the
15:38structure of God's family from being
15:41fractured so let me leave you with some
15:43facts that you can not
15:46ignore when it comes to building a
15:49healthy family number one are you ready
15:52for this a man needs a woman in his life
15:55to help him become the best version of
15:58himself
16:00a man needs a woman in his life to
16:04become the best version of
16:08himself when Adam was in the
16:12garden and Eve was not in the picture
16:16the only thing Adam had in the garden
16:20picture this let me take you back to the
16:23beginning he had this huge
16:27environment and all he had in it was
16:32vegetation and
16:35animals
16:36vegetation and
16:38animals picture this vegetation and
16:43animal that's
16:45it every morning he would get up perhaps
16:48he was talking to the
16:51plants perhaps he would sit on the
16:55tree perhaps he was feeding in
17:00animals like us
17:02today we are more friendly to animals
17:06than we are to
17:09[Applause]
17:12humans it's
17:14amazing I live in a
17:16community and and you know it's it's
17:20less of us in the community
17:23and and before I had my
17:26dogs I'm walking in my
17:29community and it's amazing I am you know
17:32I don't know I was my my parents brought
17:34me U right man I mean I don't care who
17:36you are if I'm passing you hello I mean
17:38it doesn't hurt it's just proper manners
17:43hi how you doing and I can't tell you
17:45how many times I would pass people and I
17:48would say good morning and they would
17:50not respond good afternoon not respond
17:54and then I don't want to just throw in
17:55the race card and say well they racist
17:58you know of course sometimes I would
17:59think that way but you know I tried it
18:02over and over but I kept ignoring it and
18:04so forth the
18:05moment I got my
18:11dogs I'm walking my dogs the same people
18:15who wouldn't say nothing to me oh
18:17they're so cute where you got them from
18:20I wanted a like
18:23one you going to talk to the dog and not
18:26me
18:31So Adam was probably having
18:33conversations with
18:35animals and God looked down and God said
18:38this is not
18:44[Applause]
18:47good God perhaps was saying he needs a
18:52woman so a man needs a woman in his life
18:56to help him become the best version of
18:58himself therefore for a woman must be a
19:01helper and not an
19:07instigator not pushing him outside of
19:10his
19:11purpose Genesis
19:142:18 here's where I'm going to prove to
19:16you
19:18Brothers how to get the right woman
19:20Genesis 21:18 says it is not good for
19:24man to be alone God said these words I
19:27will make him
19:29a helper suitable underline that word
19:33suitable for him suitable for him not
19:37every woman is
19:39suitable for
19:42you God chose a woman suitable for
19:49Adam a woman who understood Adam's
19:56personality how Adam operated
19:59how he
20:00thinks come on now so for those of you
20:04this young man who's 20 you came down
20:07and you're dating this young lady I'm
20:10telling you here's how you you choose a
20:13wife you choose a wife that's suitable
20:16for
20:17you who's compatible to you the perfect
20:22person mate just because she's a woman
20:25doesn't mean she's wife material
20:34am that's the word God says I'm going to
20:37give you a helper that's suitable for
20:39you somebody who will really help you to
20:42advance your agenda not somebody will
20:45tear you down pull you down don't fully
20:47understand who you
20:48are number two you ought to totally
20:50surrender to God's will because it's
20:53necessary a man must totally surrender
20:56his life to God to successfully step
20:58into his role as a father husband
21:01provider protector and Mentor you cannot
21:06do this without
21:09God you
21:11cannot you you you you you can try
21:14everything else but it's not going to
21:16work if you truly want to be a father a
21:19husband a provider a protector and a
21:21good Mentor you've just got to look to
21:23God God has to be the one who is leading
21:26you and guiding you Proverbs 3 3 verse 5
21:29and 6 it tells us trust in the Lord with
21:32all of your heart and lead not to your
21:35own understanding in all of your ways
21:38submit to him and he will make your
21:40paths
21:43straight you trust in God you want to
21:46repair your life you want to change the
21:49structure of your family you want to
21:51change the direction of your life you
21:53have to look to God not to your own
21:56understanding because the truth is
21:59the process of life sometimes doesn't
22:01make
22:02sense we can't trust our feelings we
22:05can't trust our emotions the stuff we do
22:08in society does it doesn't make sense
22:11and we can no longer lean to our own
22:14understanding we have to lean to God so
22:18it's important to note that you are not
22:21born a
22:23father
22:25Brothers no one is born a
22:29father you're not born a father you're
22:32born a
22:33man a male is born a man and he later
22:38steps into the role of
22:41fatherhood that is why it is so
22:44important that we Mentor these young men
22:49today and ladies this is where we need
22:53you this is where you become the helper
22:57that's suitable
22:59for the Next
23:00Generation CU here's the thing you have
23:05daughters fathers you have
23:08daughters and if we keep ignoring our
23:13responsibility in training these young
23:16men all we're doing is turning our
23:19daughters over to immature
23:23men who will never step into the role of
23:27fatherhood
23:29and what they're going to do they're
23:30going to totally destroy our
23:36daughters we need
23:39you women we need you fathers we need
23:43you if you have daughters you can no
23:46longer just protect your daughter and
23:48say well I want no boys talking to you
23:50and you're my daughter and I'm going to
23:52kill somebody if they mess with you you
23:54cannot keep doing that because she's
23:56going to be 18 she's then going going to
23:58go to college and she's going to leave
24:00your house and if you just protect her
24:02when she leaves your protection she
24:05won't know how to defend for our for
24:10herself we must do this as a community
24:14if we're going to change the structure
24:16of our family we should not only just
24:18protect our daughters but we must train
24:21our young
24:22[Applause]
24:26men so it's important for all of us men
24:31to understand that we must become that
24:35example the example of Jesus and to
24:37follow that example in order to become
24:39successful fathers watch this Ephesians
24:435:25 to 26 it tells us watch this now
24:47and we've drifted away from this husband
24:50or husbands love your wives just as
24:53Christ loved the church and gave himself
24:56up for her to make her holy cleansing
25:00her by the washing with the water
25:04through the
25:06word it gave two duties here what the
25:11role of the man should be as the husband
25:14and the role of what the wife should be
25:16love your wife unconditionally cuz
25:19sometimes she will drive you
25:23crazy just like the church come on now
25:28nothing wrong with her she's loving and
25:29kind wonderful we're not saying that
25:32she's not a good person but we will
25:34never un real men understand what I'm
25:36talking about sometimes we just don't
25:40understand women and I know you don't
25:42want to say nothing because you're
25:43sitting right next to her but you know
25:45it's the
25:47truth you know it's the truth you can
25:49talk to me
25:50after if you don't want to respond now
25:53you know I'm telling the truth sometimes
25:55you don't understand her but the Bible
25:57says love her the way Christ loves the
26:01church unconditional love so a man must
26:05lead his family even during difficult
26:07times and that leadership watch this
26:11requires Faith courage and Reliance on
26:16God's
26:17word can't do it if you don't have God's
26:20word in your life Joshua 1:9 it
26:23encourages us have I not commanded you
26:25to be strong courageous do not be afraid
26:30do not be discouraged for the Lord your
26:33God is with you wherever you
26:36go so our role takes
26:40courage we can't be discouraged we can't
26:43be afraid we have to say to oursel we we
26:46we're going to fight every single day to
26:49bring the structure of our families in
26:53the will of God so I firmly believe that
26:56if every man would make the effort
26:58effort to structure his family based on
27:00Godly principles he will eliminate the
27:04fractured areas of his family so if your
27:07family's broken today listen to me if
27:10your family's broken
27:11today you can mend the fractured areas
27:14of your family if everybody take their
27:16role the man takes his role as a leader
27:21and the woman takes her role as that
27:24supporter that that co- dependent
27:29person where you stand with that man to
27:32bring these children or your children up
27:35into the fear of God the image of God so
27:39let me demonstrate as I try to wrap this
27:42up this morning to tell every man who is
27:47single hoping to be married one
27:50day and to the ones who already married
27:53currently
27:54married how to keep the foundation and
27:57the structure
27:58of your family cuz we have we we we're
28:01messing this up Richard would you come
28:03here with you and your wife and the kids
28:05bring the two children with you this is
28:07where we are messing it
28:09up we' have allowed Satan to come in to
28:12our
28:13family and rewrite the structure of the
28:18family and no wonder we're hurting as a
28:22people just stay right here and face the
28:26audience for me please
28:29okay thank you Lord you are amazing no
28:34seriously the lord gave me this
28:38demonstration and I was hoping that they
28:40would do exactly what I thought they
28:42would do you have no God you are so
28:53amazing stand next to
28:57see this is our
29:00problem that's the problem with
29:05us that's exactly what we do yeah that's
29:09exactly what married people
29:13do and we call this a
29:16family because the kids are in the
29:25middle don't change now don't change now
29:27stay right there don't don't don't be
29:29pulling him over there now no you done
29:32messed up a long time don't be pulling
29:35him over there now this is our
29:41problem you see come here kids stand
29:44over there for me please before they
29:49existed you were
29:52[Applause]
29:54one you were one
29:58and God never meant for your
30:01children to come between your
30:06union now that's where you're messing
30:10up that's why when the kids grow up and
30:12they leave and they go to college you
30:14are two
30:17strangers cuz you don't even know each
30:20other because the kids were always
30:23between you
30:25guys you're out of o
30:30it's the father the
30:33mother and at no given time God wanted
30:38the children to come between
30:42you that's not his
30:45will because what happens now you become
30:49attached to your daughters you become
30:51attach to your daughters and before you
30:54know it detach from each other
31:01so what happens now so what happens when
31:06the children grow up they go separate
31:09ways please continue to walk that way
31:11they go separate
31:13ways here's the struggle there's such a
31:19gap huge
31:23gap that turns into fighting at each
31:26other argu cuz you are dead had
31:30strangers when this is how God wanted
31:32this to happen in the first
31:36place first child
31:43comes still a
31:46family still a
31:48family he's
31:50head she's
31:52supporter so happens a daughter comes
31:55in and notice
31:58the daughter is not between
32:00them the daughter is beside
32:04them where are your
32:07children are they beside you in the
32:11family structure are they
32:14between you and the
32:17spouse the second one
32:21comes she comes
32:25beside still one
32:28still
32:30strong still
32:32leading so when they go their separate
32:36ways to
32:37college you're
32:40[Applause]
32:48still it is important that we stop the
32:53rearranging of God's
32:56structure sir yes sir
32:58if not all we're going to end up with
33:01it's a lot of families been
33:05separated and we say it's the
33:09devil
33:11no come
33:13kids what we
33:15did is we
33:17brought the
33:19gift that God gave
33:22us and we allowed it to rearrange God's
33:26structure what happened to the children
33:28of
33:29Israel nothing was wrong with the gifts
33:32study your Bible the
33:35gold God told them to take all the
33:38wealth out of Egypt on their way to the
33:41promised land they earned it study your
33:44Bible so they have all this wealth all
33:48this
33:49blessings the problem is they allowed
33:53the blessing to come between them and
33:56their God
33:59whenever you let your blessing your
34:04kids come between God's
34:09structure that's exactly what's going to
34:12happen and many of you this morning can
34:15attest to what I'm
34:17saying you have got to find a way most
34:21of your kids are gone thank you just go
34:24go the other way most of your kids are
34:26gone
34:27here's the
34:29challenge for most of you
34:32men on Father's Day here's the challenge
34:37you cannot deny that there's a
34:40gap there's a
34:43gap there is a
34:47gap what are you going to do about
34:51it what are you going to
34:53do about this Gap
34:58what are you going to
34:59do you can leave it empty and
35:04void or you can come to God this morning
35:06and say
35:08God fill my cup
35:11Lord I Lift It Up
35:14Lord come and
35:17quench this
35:19thirsting of my
35:22soul cuz there's a gap by your heads
35:25father I thank you
35:29for the word
35:32today thank
35:35you that I did my
35:37job to empower men today
35:42especially to fight to keep the
35:44structure of their homes together their
35:48family I pray
35:51today that those who need to surrender
35:54would
35:55surrender and simply say yes to to you
35:58this
35:59morning this is a day of
36:03restoration a day to give us hope to
36:06stay in your
36:09will we give you praise very quickly
36:12this is the way I would close the
36:13service you just give me less than five
36:17minutes you're in the building this
36:19morning and and you feel that there's a
36:22gap there's a
36:25gap I want to pray with you you and
36:28here's how I'm going to do it wherever
36:30you are I'm not even going to ask you to
36:31stand uh uh excuse me to come down front
36:34for those of you are streaming you just
36:36need to respond say something in the
36:38chat I want to pray with you but you say
36:41pastor this was my sermon
36:44today God used this word today to open
36:47my eyes and to provoke me if that's you
36:50please stand all over the building I
36:52want to say a special prayer for you
36:53thank you sir thank you thank you sir
36:56thank you ma'am thank you
36:58thank you thank you come on wherever you
37:00are I want to pray for you quickly you
37:03say Pastor that word was for me that
37:06word was for me I thank you I thank you
37:09I thank you I thank you Father you see
37:11your people standing I've done my
37:14job whatever they need to do give them
37:17the strength and the wisdom and a
37:19strategy to get it done wherever the Gap
37:23is fill it God fill it God fill it it
37:27God fill it God fill it right now I give
37:31you all the praise the honor and the
37:32glory that that man will begin to have
37:35the strength to do whatever it takes
37:38Lord to lead his family in your perfect
37:40will that woman God will do whatever it
37:42takes to lead her family in your perfect
37:45will father whatever healing that needs
37:47to take place in the name of Jesus I
37:50pray father right now that you will heal
37:53families in the name of Jesus not only
37:56he those here in the building but those
37:58who are streaming I give you praise for
38:00it I give you all the honor and the
38:03glory I thank you for this word I thank
38:05you for releasing it I thank you for
38:07provoking us to the point where you want
38:10us to change for the
38:13better thank you in the mighty name of
38:17Jesus we pray amen come on if you
38:21received that word give God praise today
38:23stand on your feet everybody